1. |
Loone: All Pacing Horses
03:18
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2. |
Loone: Ocatillo
05:17
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3. |
Loone: Offering
03:09
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4. |
Loone: Foam
07:50
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5. |
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the most desolate stretches of highway surround me when I say I am home
stretching out like the sorest of arms through the heat reaching to the sea grasping
towards a life that was never mine
towards my ghosts in the thickest darkest pines
where the moon dappled snow takes the form of a hearts deepest fears
they can find you in your room under the covers with all the lights on
it doesn't matter thousands of miles only makes them stronger
I fell in love with the shadow you cast it enveloped the whole coast it let me remain
exiled by nothing married to escape
I had hoped to wake up in the morning as oh something else anything anything else
oh the undertow grasps at my ankles and I'm tumbling I remain spinning
through the dark to stay out at sea where there is no easy answer and I am only me
and the foam on the waves isn't safe but it's something like home
it's a process we've been told but legends of comfort are haunting our bones
it doesn't matter trying to change only makes it harder
I fell in love with ideas of boys salvation disgust validation and pain
take my awful body wrap me in lace and drench me in honey
diving back into the salt we are safe no boys allowed can this just be my place?
scream under water bubbles come out is this tears or laughter?
mom I'm so sorry I can't be your girl I am a strange creature of sadness and words
but I am not leaving you are the one who showed me the ocean
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6. |
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started off whole started off true
it was simple I mean honest between me and you
something so good can't leave it alone
we distort it twist it place upon it every time we think it
till it shows us everything we could be
in the fading scent of someone who is not there
someone who can't hurt you someone who you hope is
someone who is perfect when she's just a letter
so shed another skin I am not sure I'm what I say I am
but please send details of your flaws so I can't turn you into
something cold and statuesque towering above my bed
I wanna hold the shattered pieces to my lips and try and understand
so broken we will break our breaking hearts against eachother
spilling out our splinters on our pillows staining sheets with our loss
till the sun's back on your face and the day is just another day
and leaving you will take a version of me that I hope is close to right
and I'll stay up all night
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7. |
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the end:
we wake up and I can't reach you
your eyes are still closed
I know you're awake I heard you shaking
but you're nowhere near
and I can't do shit
we get up I still can't reach you
the coffee's lukewarm
and the space growing between us
is silent expansive cold
the end part 2:
when it rains in this desert I'm home
clouds roll in and I don't feel as old
smell the asphalt I'm a kid again
wasn't better but I still miss it
and I can't try to hold a light
to your sharp elbows in my bed and the dried crisp leaves around your head
and the train never came and I would never claim that we found what we needed in each other
no it wasn't what we needed in each other or at least
it wasn't enough it wasn't enough and now I'm not ok
it wasn't enough it wasn't enough and now nothing feels sacred
your hands in the soil your fingers they move through the moist they are safe
we tried to go back it wasn't the same now it's crumbled and gone
the last time we talked I knew it was gone it was the physical absence of something
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8. |
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I am picturing you at 17
your body's to hard to taught the world's too mean
and you're scrappy and wide grinned but your skin is so thin
you are stared at but rarely seen
and I was here in the dry heat with upturned palms and scraped knees
where I dreamt of flying monster machines carrying me from the city
and I wanna fold that tired body into strong arms thick and mending
that could place you somewhere safer but then how would you have found me?
these are the chords you return to they have a way of holding you
and leading you into the brambles dark and twisting shapes entangled
soothe you into someplace old and haunted with discarded words
you pluck them from a thorny vine and place them back upon your tongue
and oh sweet longing yearning for the triumph that could come
your voice rang out across the room I didn't understand it
but I saw you there outstretched and grasping something in me that was breaking
casting out a net of moonlit hopes all woven in your chest
I felt it slip around us pressing lace into my bed
and a tiny silver ringing slices through my dreams so close to your head
and I wanna see you laughing and I wanna know your needs are being met
and I wanna hold your hand and go explore the pulsing humming darkness
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9. |
Paper Bee: A Swarm
02:43
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the thin walls that protect me from what's to big feel thinner lately
the sleep is bad the dreams are bad
so I wanna hear your heart beat cause I do believe that you care about me
it feels as inescapable as the way I fear this heat
oh surround me with your love strong as a swarm of bees
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